Are You Here Yet

Are You Here Yet?

Are You Here Yet?

Are you here yet? #AreYouHereYet? How to STFU and Show Up For Yourself is the latest book from Dr. Tony Ortega. I just finished reading this book and I am so glad I gave this a read! 

“This is how I showed up for myself. Remembering who I am.”

Dr. Tony Ortega

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About Are You Here Yet?

#AreYouHereYet?: How to STFU and Show Up For Yourself is the sequel to Dr. Ortega’s debut self-help book, #IsHeHereYet: Being the Person You Want to Be With, continuing his examination of the epidemic of perceived inadequacy in our universal quest for love and self-improvement. When a person is committed to doing all the work to improve themselves by being The One (and thereby improve their love life), what’s next when nothing seems to happen?

Thoughts on Are You Here Yet?

I am so very glad that I made this my very first read of the new year. Because it was exactly what I needed to read. This book caught my attention quite honestly because of the title. Self help books aren’t normally my thing, and I really don’t go looking for them because they are all the same, in my opinion. Dr. Ortega addresses that exact thought in the book saying, “I attended more seminars than a drag queen has makeup.” 

From Drama Queen to Queen Bee

The chapter titled “From Drama Queen to Queen Bee” really spoke to me as a person and as a woman. I’m pretty sure Tony Ortega wrote this chapter just for me. I am constantly thinking worst case scenario. Not even from a prepping standpoint either, just in general. 

The funny thing is when I see others doing this, I’ll try to change that thought process around for them. Bloggers in groups will be terrified of pitching to a company and asking “what if they hate me?” My response is, so what if they hate you? What will actually happen to you? Now, what if they love you? What will actually happen then? Think about those answers and proceed accordingly. 

“The power of choice is everyone’s superpower.” 

Dr. Tony Ortega, Are You Here Yet?
Are You Here Yet
Are You Here Yet

Stop and Think

Like just stop and think about what will actually happen. Because the answer to if they hate you is that nothing will happen. They say no we’re not working with you and you keep right on going. If they love you, well it is the start of something potentially amazing. Yet when pitching, our minds go in a million different directions and for me, I always think I’ll just die if I pitch and they hate me. That it will completely invalidate my work or I’m a failure. 

That is not remotely true. It simply means the company isn’t a good match for me, and I love every no I get because it gets me that much closer to a yes. But I have to remind myself of that last statement because it is beyond easy to jump into drama queen mode. 

“I attended more seminars than a drag queen has makeup.” 

Dr. Tony Ortega, Are You Here Yet?

“Our mind will produce a million worst-case scenarios faster than Donald Trump issues Tweets.” Raise your hand if you have ever had this happen. I’m pretty sure that everyone reading this just raised their hand. Because it happens to all of us, me included. 

“At the end of the day, the real question is: how do you want to show up for your life? What does that feel and look like? If we don’t know what that is, how we show up will be chaotic and the world will be chaotic.” I love how much truth there is to not only this statement, but everything in this book! 

You need to read Are You Here Yet?!

I’m not going to tell you about the other chapters in Are You Here Yet? They are wonderful and trust me when I say you should be reading this. This is especially true if you are a blogger, entrepreneur, or business owner. As I said earlier, the title is what caught my attention. But a good title isn’t all this book has going on. The life advice, business advice, and just relatable stories are amazing. 

Are You Here Yet? is relatable and in a way that makes perfect sense. It isn’t coming from a dry or clinical standpoint. Because it is presented in a way that sounds like it is coming from my best friend who is able to see the things I need to change and making it easy for me to see and understand. Dr. Tony Ortega is someone I feel like I could sit down and have a great conversation with, because that is exactly how this book is presented. 

Are You Here Yet
Are You Here Yet

Relatable and hilarious

Not only is Are You Here Yet? relatable, it is funny. My favorite quote has to be the one I mentioned earlier about our minds going faster than Donald Trump’s Tweets. It is hilarious because we all have been there and understand the truth behind that statement. This book is filled with hilarious and relatable things like that. But it also gives useful tools to add to our arsenal to be real and really start showing up for ourselves. 

One of my favorite quotes I’m making it a point to live this year is “visualize your best and highest self, and start showing up as her.” Although that quote isn’t from this book, the book is a how-to guide to do exactly that. Be your best self. 

Think about your own goals

One of my biggest goals in the new year is turning my blog into a full time business. I’ve said I’ll go at it all as hard as I possibly can and it will either kill me or I’ll be successful. Never in my life have I read a book like this that was the perfect start to my go big or go home philosophy. It really was exactly what I needed to read! 

This book is definitely worth taking the time to read! I highly recommend it for everyone. There isn’t one person who can’t benefit from reading this hilariously useful, truthful, and relatable book.

Are You Here Yet
Are You Here Yet


Have you read Are You Here Yet? from Dr. Tony Ortega? Tell me your thoughts in the comments! Read more of my book reviews.

Purchasing Are You Here Yet?

For the paperback version of Are You Here Yet?, click here

For the Kindle version, click here

If you are in the market for a new Kindle, here is my personal favorite. 

About the Author

Are You Here Yet
Are You Here Yet author Dr. Tony Ortega

Dr. Tony Ortega is a first-generation Cuban America. He is a licensed clinical psychologist, life coach, and author who has been in practice since 1992, currently serving the LGBTQ population in his private practice located in Brooklyn New York. 

Are You Here Yet
Are You Here Yet author Dr. Tony Ortega

Amazon Notice

The Reading Wife is a participant in the Amazon Services LLC Associates Program, an affiliate advertising program designed to provide a means for sites to earn advertising fees by advertising and linking to, at no added cost to you.

Are You Here Yet
Are You Here Yet


  • Scott J DeNicola

    I love a good self-help book and honestly, most of what I read is in this genre and most times I am reading them in an airport or on a flight. Mostly self-help or sales related help books which usually are one in the same. This book sounds like a must-read for me. I too need to make this blog thing take off this year and it is hard and discouraging at times but I have committed to seeing this through. I’ve tried to live the motto of seeing your self successful and then becoming that person.

  • The Sunny Side Lifestyle Co.

    Your quote: ‘“what if they hate me?” My response is, so what if they hate you? What will actually happen to you? Now, what if they love you? What will actually happen then?’ Wow – this really resonated with me today as I’m working hard on a project that requires soliciting business, something totally out of my comfort zone but necessary for success. We can all use the reminder to show up for ourselves and ‘#AreYouHereYet? How to STFU and Show Up For Yourself ‘ sounds like it should be part of my 2020 reading list. Thanks for the recommendation!

  • Kelly Martin

    I read a lot of self help books and this one sounds really interesting. It’s always good when the author includes a bit of humour to make it more interesting. I’ll keep an eye out for this one.

  • Kileen

    This sounds like an awesome read and a great book to start off the new year! Definitely need to add it to my reading list, thanks for sharing!


  • LuLu B - Calabrisella Mia

    We have a bit in common, I also don’t tend to gravitate to self-help books. I feel like they tell me things I already know! And I am always thinking worst-case scenario (and I’m making more of an effort to change that mindset!) We are our own worst critics most of the time and go into self sabotage mode so quickly.

    I’m adding this book to my list, I think it will be a good reaffirming kick in the butt!

  • Subhashish Roy

    Seems it would be an absorbing book going by what I read from your review. Self help books are needed from time to time to keep our balance right and to help us focus on a beautiful life ahead. Thanks for sharing. Must read this book.

  • Smita

    Self-help books aren’t my things either but once in a while some books do come along that are different from the usual preachy stuff. Books those that make you laugh and at the same time resonate with how you’ve been feeling. Books that stop being self-help books and turn into your go-to guides. This one does sound like one of the gems – the title itself is enough for me to give it a go!

  • Daphne Takahashi

    l’ll give this book a try, just reading your review it already left me thinking a lot about myself…i’m not one to like self-help books but this really looks amazing and caught my attention. thanks for sharing!

  • Lindsay Brown

    This book sounds awesome! I’m like you and often steer clear of these types of books, because like you said, they all seem to be the same. But I could totally get on board with a book that is full of great truth nuggets like, “I attended more seminars than a drag queen has makeup.” Love this!

    I especially can attest to the fear of putting yourself out there whether it be pitching your blog or otherwise. As
    a writer, I am constantly in fear of rejection, as rejection is a HUGE chunk of the business–whether it be submission rejections or agent rejections, it happens. Although I’ve grown a thick skin, I still find myself hesitant to submit my work to big name publishers and lit. magazines in fear that I’m just not good enough.

    I think that I could really get a lot from this book! Thanks so much for sharing your review!

  • Ivana Mearns

    Very inspiring, especially your advice “visualize your best and highest self, and start showing up as her.” – I’ll keep this on my mind! Good luck with achieving all your goals.

  • Chloé Arnold

    I love books like this! So often it’s information we already know, but sometimes we just need the reminder and the extra kick in the pants to ACTUALLY do it! Might have to download this one for my kindle!

  • Britt K

    This sounds like a great read. Honestly, I experience ‘worst case scenario’ thinking far more often than I would like to admit. While a small amount of it is beneficial, as it allows you to prepare for some of the more realistic potential outcomes, it can quickly spin out of control. The longer I dwell on it, the more unlikely and crazy my scenarios become until I find myself worrying about something that is likely never going to happen. I have been trying to read a new self-help, business or leadership book each month, so I’m going to have to add this one to the list.

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